I think I'm stressed. My stomach hurts in a twisty sort of way and we drove all afternoon to get back from the beach so I'm antsy and need a shower and probably a nap but I can't bring myself to undress and bathe, I just want to lie on the floor and wallow in my own self pity.

The housing problem from before is rising up today. I'm number 101 on the lottery, which alternates from boy and girl, which makes me essentially two hundred-ish, and our lottery follows the drawing for seniors, so that in turn means I'm three hundred-ish. *sigh* I wasn't worried about it when I thought that regardless of what happens with Alex and a house off campus, I'd have a place on campus that I'd be happy living in, but three hundred is just not reassuring. There are too many ugly dorms and people that I'd rather not be around because- eh, leave it at because, or that I'm a bad person. Either way, I would have liked to be higher up. Alli, my current roommate is 13, but I'm not sure if she'd want to live with me again, or have a single, or if she'd rather be abroad in Spain, which she's also applied for. I guess I should suck it up and ask; I'm just afraid to hear the words, "No, I'd rather live alone," even if I know that's probably true.