|
< / > Financial Aid and the Depths of Fear that Come Along June 20, 2005 *~* 8:41 p.m. Applying for student loans is the single most terrifying thing I've ever done. It had a handy "Loan Calculator" that you put your information into and then pressed calculate for it to decide how much money you'd need to pay off your loan in ten years at 8.25%. It said I'd likely borrow around $21,000 between now and graduation and that I'd need a good $30,000 between now and ten years to cover the initial loan and interest. Obviously 10 years and an almost ten percent interest rate is on the ridiculous (is it? i've no true sense of reality) side, but still. oh god oh god oh god. And I figure I'll keep going to school for a bit longer than that and get a Master's and possibly a Ph.D. cause that will be useful now that I've decided I'd like to be a psychologist. Gm's got a family friend who offered to pay for law school if he got in: he and I should stay on very good terms and maybe get married and he can become a rich lawyer and I'll become a rich psychologist and we can pay off our debts because God knows we're going to have a lot of them. *sigh* At the moment, I cannot really come up with an upside. A good education. Right. Yeah. I cannot cannot canNOT dwell on this too much at the moment or I'll regret the moment I ever heard of Reed and didn't just settle for UTD and their full ride scholarship plus spending money (oh, you stupid stupid girl, why didn't you do that?). If I only I could win the lottery. It's daunting when I realize that to some of the kids at Reed, this is pocket change. Gm says that Quincy, another girl that we're social with, if not best friends, who also lives in Baltimore is absolutely amazingly rich. He described her house as a "palace." And it's just like everything else in life, that's simply how it is and you do what you can, but a part of me simply doesn't understand how life works. Why on earth does she need a heated indoor Olympic size pool and whatever else Gm listed off when my sister and I still share a room and my dad has moved back to Mexico in bankruptcy and shame and there are people starving on the streets and so many other things that can be done? I'm such a secret Communist. I understand that they've probably earned it, or at the very least done their best to improve their situation beyond where they started, but it still seems like there ought to be a better way to take care of society. |