Gm went back yesterday around noon. Watching him walk away and through the doors to the airport physically hurt. It's like a cruel joke to bring him ohsoclose to me and then snatch him away again. I love him like life. He loves me. We are beautiful together. It was beautiful to have him back with me. He makes days brighter and longer and slower and just MORE. With him, everything is more exciting, easier to do, easier to avoid, easier to take delight in, anything and everything. I can be just as happy driving around with him singing loudly out the window as I am when we're nuzzling each other trying to disrupt the others reading or when I'm lying on his chest half asleep, his hand playing in my hair idly, or when we're kissing, all tangled and likely in some state of undress.

I loved being able to show him where I've been and what parts of me are based on what location in my life and where I come from. I loved him meeting my family and charming them just as much as he charmed me and the fact that my cat likes him more than she does me and I like that he handled meeting my friends with grace even though I know he was nervous and perhaps jealous. I liked watching his face when he marveled over this weird Texas quirk or explained to me that, "no, this is not a normal thing, it's just here" or fell in love with a specific fast food chain that I take more or less for granted. I like that we didn't really do anything worth mentioning, nothing that exciting, and yet they were the best days of my summer yet. I love him, and I love that fact in turn (it's very circular).

I am calm, and content, and missing him to death, and at the same time, living each moment with hope that carries me toward the end of my summer and Portland. I figured out my job situation and we're going to figure out my financial aid situation tomorrow afternoon and then I'll email the necessary Psych professors about my schedule and write a charming email to the woman who runs the fantasic dessert cafe near Reed in hopes that she'll start to like me and hire me when I get back again.