I do love how Tom Petty whines. On a happier note, I'm home on my bed in soft lace and sunshine through my window, listening to Gm fuss at the TV poker players in the other room. I ought to go fetch my bunny and make it a completely good experience. The past two or three days have been better than the ones preceding them and this helps makes things manageable. Additionally, I ran Monday morning, which was dismal and hard as hell and uncomfortable, and this morning, which was much improved and felt calming and dedicated and while not strong, not nearly so pathetic as the first time. That's how it goes. I'd like to establish a routine, so I've got to hang on and commit for these first few weeks when I'll still be out of shape enough to make running a not entirely pleasant experience.

I'm always sort of caught in a limbo between hating my physical state and actually doing anything about it because I always associate running with anorexicizing behaviours and exhaustion and sheer work and pushing and being absolutely driven. Toward the end it was never an enjoyable thing except as a means to an end and it's hard to remember sometimes that if I don't get crazy about it, running really is a nice thing. Lots of people do it. So I'll just have to convince myself for a while that I am capable of this without making it anything dangerous or bad, because I do feel like it will be better for me. Research is always saying that exercising people are happier and healthier and more energetic and I figure I can use all the help I can get right now.

And school's going well. I have a French "quiz" tomorrow, which is definitely a test over these first two chapters and everything we've learned, so I'm definitely going to study that when I get done, right? And I love Psychobiology even though I have a test in there on Monday all about identifying brain parts and functions which will not be fun at all to remember, and I love Psychology and I suppose I like English, though I feel like the class could be improved. How, I don't know.

I think my mood swings might be unhealthy. As in, indicative of a fall towards depression or hormonal craziness or who knows what, so I'm trying to be aware of that and be careful about what I do and try to remember and breathe and take things as a whole instead of little things to send me up and down.

Perspective, dah-ling.