i'm lost. . . *unintelligible scream*

I like the Mars Volta and feel that they should tour themselves into my general direction.

I've really nothing in particular to say in that my mood is neither particularly up or down, but that's a good thing. We spent the afternoon house hunting and driving around the neighborhoods near and all about Reed. Alex's mom said she'd be willing to buy a house up here within a reasonable price range and then let us all pay rent to her next year, effectively getting us off campus without the vague and possible difficulties of an unknown and unsympathetic landlord. Granted, we'd still pay, but it'd be a lot easier to convince her that school was killer that week and that if I could work the next week more than this one, it'd be far easier to pay the rent. So yes, that's the thought in my head. It's fun to look at all the houses nearby- Portland is a cute place. Lots of wood sculpting and gingerbread facades and pretty paint jobs and flowers. It was raining and bright sunshine all day and the wind kept knocking the petals off the unknown but ever present pink blossom trees and so so right. Most of it was out of our price range, but we covered quite a bit of land and found at least a couple of places that might have possibilities. Since her family's in town this week, it'd be nice to have something concrete to show her, even if they're going to be at the beach and we certainly can't live there.

So we're going to the beach tomorrow, though it might rain. I'm pretty sure I wrote about Gm and I going that one time and I imagine this will be ever so lovely too. It will be nice to have the break. He's got a forty page paper due in two weeks which is unfortunate, but hey.

Summer summer summer magic lovely warm sun beautiful things music friends yummy food baking things flowers oleanders lazy days long runs puppy dogs and funny cats sassy hamsters and maybe a turtle family coffee iced tea sugar sweet hope fancy playing water guns easy smiles sticky breezes through the trees all those things.

I found myself daydreaming through political philosophy today to thoughts of being home for summer. I love Gm and I love Portland and I love Reed and my friends here, but I am practically wriggling with anticipation to spend a summer at home, even with the fights and awkwardness and tension that will be inevitable. I know it won't be as good as I imagine, but it can't be bad. It's just not acceptable!

let me give the world to you my love. . .

I'm just eager. Sometimes it's just overwhelming here and it's terrible because I'm only a freshman. God knows what will happen when I get higher up- the seniors are mad scary stressed and angry right now and I can't imagine. I'm such a poor judge of stress and managing such that it will never do. I'll have to get better lest I end up bone thin and angry or dead four years from now.

Nothing's bothering me too badly right now however. Yay that. I'm sure I'll jinx it, so that's okay, I'll take it back, but still, it's a reassuring thought.