|
< / > I hate you and all that you stand for September 04, 2005 *~* 7:01 p.m. I hate you for not mopping up the water that you flood the bathroom with after every shower. And for the way you spent the week we all were painting the house leaving, or making Gm's mother cry, or complaining about how tired you were from driving around pretending to give out resumes. I hate the way you treat Gm like the hired help and never take out the trash or wash the dishes or put them away. I hate that you won't take any initiative to maintain the house and that we ask you to do things and you simply say that "you'll get to it" or simply agree that it needs to be done. Well, yes, obviously. I hate you for leaving snide LiveJournal entries and notes on the whiteboard and pretending like it must be us that is the problem in the household. Maybe we're nagging you, but nothing happened before either, so we're trying another tactic. I hate the way you mope about the house and don't talk to anyone and monopolize Steve. I resent the way you insist on taking him to school to ensure that you are the one in charge of him and his mobility, despite the fact that the three of us go to the same school at the same time and you go across town hours later. I hate that the emails and little snide comments you make to Gm affect the way we interact early in the morning, starting our day out angry. I hate you for using my super sentimental coffee mug and leaving it dirty on your desk and the way you keep two rats in a dirty too small cage and took a vast majority of my expensive alterna-litter for the bunny. I hate that you are cheap and make Steve pay for things when you have access to more money than any of us, probably the three of us put together. I hate that I spent $50 on a meal last night and only got $17 from you and Steve combined. If I wanted to spend $50 on dinner, I'd dress up and go out with Gm and get away from you for the night. I hate that the house is still not finished painting and you express no interest in doing so and I know that you will help as little as possible tomorrow when we try. I hate that you only eat mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and white starches so we can't have exciting foods and that when Gm cooks something anyway you won't even deign to try it, but immediately pour a bowl of cereal and loudly declare how you don't like whatever it is and that it smells oddly. I hate that you are one of the rudest people I've ever met and that's it's hard to remember that you can't really help it because your family is exactly like you except your poor hapless but enabling father. Forgive me for not wanting to spend $10 to come hang out at your job tonight. Forgive me for wanting very little to do with you and resenting anything that involves helping you. I hate you more and more by the day and it's so frustrating because I know that I cannot hate you because I have to live with you for the next year and cannot afford to hate you when you are so goddamn oblivious and not worth my time. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. I am so tired of being upset; every time I try to get over it, I walk into a different room and see some other thing that drives me nuts. I have to suck it up. I need to be okay with this. I need to remember that you are generally okay to be with and maybe spend some time with you being enjoyable remembering that. And that's not happening. *sigh* |