|
< / > On Housing, Generosity, and Hate September 27, 2005 *~* 3:11 p.m. We got the housing contract, revised according to Alex's (mom's, ostensibly) wishes, back, and it's ridiculously sketchy and condescending, full of things like "except Alex" and hints that if anyone upsets the household or is unhappy there, that they should leave, but Alex will always remain, even if she's the problem. Obviously that was going to be the case, sure, but the current wording of the contract practically guarantees that if Alex decides that Gm or I is getting on her nerves, she can complain to her mother that we are bad members and taking advantage of the house and Allison's just wonderfully generous offer and get us kicked out. Or, if not kicked out, it will be strongly suggested that we remove our selves. fuck. This is so far from what I had in mind when I thought that living in a house would be better for me, my health, my happiness, my sanity, etc. My health is better, maybe, excepting any negative effects of the stress and sadness. It's dismal. Today is sad. I am sad. He's more or less making plans to move out and be somewhere else, which is reasonable. Even if they don't throw him out, Gm would have to tiptoe around and clean up after Alex for fear that any sort of reprimand would result in eviction. And, despite the fact that it's not really fair to him, his decision will affect my own. I cannot stay here by myself, for transportation, financial, emotional, and whatever else I choose sort of reasons. It would drive me to depression far worse than the fleeting kind I'm in right now. It's a horrible place to be, physically and metaphorically. So I don't know. I don't really want to live on campus, I don't think we can afford that sort of thing out of pocket, but I just don't know. I want my mommy. *sigh* |